people suck...and i suck with them.

no one ever says whats on their mind, and i only give honesty to others.

why can't everyone just be out in the open and not worried about what what the other will think? i mean, i'm pretty blunt on my feelings and expect the same back. why dont i get them?

and why must relationships be so complicated?!?

one moment you want to be alone and hate the world. the next you're afraid and want anyone around to mistreat you.



i miss hiphop, and i feel i love my BF. I want hiphop and may take him at me relationships expense. it's been, maybe, 3 months since i've been feeling hiphop and constantly been thinking about him. and not just htink ing of memories i've had of him. but making up little stories and longing to fixate only on him. grabbing, weighing my strength on him, seducing him, completely taking him over. it's like i'd love to control him.

the other day i went to a friend's house with my BF and hung out at their house with other friends. One friend in particular, I had met him before, perhaps 2 years ago at a party, and never quite forgotten about him. and it hasn't been easy to get him out of my head. i mean, his lips ooze enchantment. i am completely under his spell without him even knowing it. He uttered one word and my pussy quivered. I felt helpless under his powers and had to excuse myself from several conversation with him. I hope he didnt think i was blowing him....though to actually "blow", i'm sure he wouldn't have had a problem.

...and the beat goes on...

[note: The name of hiphop has been changed to protect their current existence]