...and then there was a storm.
My BF came back from his trip and I was actually happy to see him. He insisted we go to the movies and left all of his things on the bedroom floor and bed. Which I wanted to clean up because I didnt want him yelling at me again.
But anyhow, everything was kinda okay. A little tense with him. But the next morning I offered to clean the mess when I got home from school and he told me not to touch it, so then I asked him to clean it up and he said he didnt want to clean it at that moment. So then I start to clean it, and he gets pissed! He yells at me to leave it because he wants to go through it. So I stop talking and I'm getting my lunch together and he asks, "what's wrong?" And I look at him like he's a madman and say "nothing". Then he gets this temper and is all like, "I hate it when you do that! Just tell me whats wrong with you!" And I look at him at tell him, "I'll tell you later." my teeth clenched. So we get in the car and he's driving me to my bus sto and we talk and I start crying because every other word out of his mouth is a curse. Now, I'm no a big fan of cursing, true it comes out in e-mails and blogs when I'm angry, but I never EVER curse at my BF, because I wouldn't want him cursing at me. But he starts cursing at me, he voice loud and abraisive, and I start to cry. And at that moment, he knew he was doing wrong. So after he was quiet for a good few minutes, he asks 'what's wrong' and I tell him all that I've been feeling; about how I wanted him to clean up his mess, btu how I'd be willing to clean the mess beause I didnt want him yelling a tme for the mess, and of how I felt the I was walkign on eggshells because I didnt want to be yelled at again, I wanted him to stay all smiles but he was making it very hard. And I also told him about how it felt for him to curse at me with all that emotion and anger behind it. I told him it weighed my soul down and hurt me in places no one could see, only feel. And I told him how relaxed and free I felt when he was on his trip out of town and how all the intensity and anger and cursing all at once caused me to break down...
Man I hate crying in front of people!
So he appologized for the first time this morning when he cursed. A friend told me to reward him for catching his curse. Like cook him dinner or somthing...It sound slike a great idea, hopefully it will work. Our spirits were high today and we actually smiled together. I just hope it will last...
Orange was absent from school friday and monday. Kitty was right, she did seem troubled. I wanted to talk to her about it, you know, to make sure she was alright. But Whan I asked, "are you okay?" she said, "yeah, I'm alright..." and in her voice I heard a bit of pain, maybe even sorrow. So I didnt pry any further. She was absent from our last hour class today only long enough to eat her lunch and grab her books as the class was letting out. Perhaps she had a breakdown and is burnt out from work and school AND relationships? I dunno. I just hope she gets better.
[note: kitty and orange have been changed to protect their current existence]
But anyhow, everything was kinda okay. A little tense with him. But the next morning I offered to clean the mess when I got home from school and he told me not to touch it, so then I asked him to clean it up and he said he didnt want to clean it at that moment. So then I start to clean it, and he gets pissed! He yells at me to leave it because he wants to go through it. So I stop talking and I'm getting my lunch together and he asks, "what's wrong?" And I look at him like he's a madman and say "nothing". Then he gets this temper and is all like, "I hate it when you do that! Just tell me whats wrong with you!" And I look at him at tell him, "I'll tell you later." my teeth clenched. So we get in the car and he's driving me to my bus sto and we talk and I start crying because every other word out of his mouth is a curse. Now, I'm no a big fan of cursing, true it comes out in e-mails and blogs when I'm angry, but I never EVER curse at my BF, because I wouldn't want him cursing at me. But he starts cursing at me, he voice loud and abraisive, and I start to cry. And at that moment, he knew he was doing wrong. So after he was quiet for a good few minutes, he asks 'what's wrong' and I tell him all that I've been feeling; about how I wanted him to clean up his mess, btu how I'd be willing to clean the mess beause I didnt want him yelling a tme for the mess, and of how I felt the I was walkign on eggshells because I didnt want to be yelled at again, I wanted him to stay all smiles but he was making it very hard. And I also told him about how it felt for him to curse at me with all that emotion and anger behind it. I told him it weighed my soul down and hurt me in places no one could see, only feel. And I told him how relaxed and free I felt when he was on his trip out of town and how all the intensity and anger and cursing all at once caused me to break down...
Man I hate crying in front of people!
So he appologized for the first time this morning when he cursed. A friend told me to reward him for catching his curse. Like cook him dinner or somthing...It sound slike a great idea, hopefully it will work. Our spirits were high today and we actually smiled together. I just hope it will last...
Orange was absent from school friday and monday. Kitty was right, she did seem troubled. I wanted to talk to her about it, you know, to make sure she was alright. But Whan I asked, "are you okay?" she said, "yeah, I'm alright..." and in her voice I heard a bit of pain, maybe even sorrow. So I didnt pry any further. She was absent from our last hour class today only long enough to eat her lunch and grab her books as the class was letting out. Perhaps she had a breakdown and is burnt out from work and school AND relationships? I dunno. I just hope she gets better.
[note: kitty and orange have been changed to protect their current existence]
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