The List
So I was thinking today...while I had some free time in between multi-tasking and having a queezy stomache, that I should make up a list of the pros and cons in my relationship with my BF.
Pro: staying rent free in his home while i go to school
Con: being a burden; no job, no money
Pro: free meals, even if they are pretty much the same 4 days out of the week
Con: the ability to get tired of it quick and forced to spend money or else yak
Pro: having a man means loving arms and a source of meeting new people
Con: lately he's been super crabby and doesn't like it when I mention hanging out with other people.
Pro: getting money from him for snacks, get bills paid, doing fun things together
Con: money on hold since summer started, bills are getting paid but now he's yalling at me at how i should get a job (it was his idea that he pay for my bills in the first place!), when's the last time we went out and not gotten into an argument?
Pro: gentle caresses while cuddling on the couch
Con: he pokes me, constantly...then when I get irritated he asks me what my problem is. So I say to him, "Why cant you touch me lovingly and nice for a change? We're not 4. You dont have to poke me and hit me to show me you're interested or want my attention!" And whateverthehell happend to verbal communication???
Pro: Having a best friend for the rest of your life
Con: Honey, I can't stand him for more than 5 minutes! When did this happen?!
Pro: He's there to take care of you and take you whereever you need to go
Con: He's works a lot, then blabs to me about the friend's he's made and how beautiful his co worker is. Then he gets home and is too tired to do anything that I want to do. Liek what I want to do isn't worth the time or effort
Pro: We're both Christians
Con: Somewhere down the line, after I moved in, he changed his story and decided to tell me that he doesn't completely believe in God or that the bible was written by God!
Con: He does no house work, but complains if I leave something undone. Can you believe he yelled at me because I asked him to get one load of clothes out of the dryer for me? He said, "You NEVER do all fo the laundry on your own! I ALWAYS have to finish the job!" Which is completely untrue! So when I showed him that I did the clothes, without his help a few days ago, he said, "It's about time you started to respect me." MUTHA FUCKA! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT???!!! But I left it alone or else I would have blew up and would have had been kicked out!
Con: He keeps pushing and pushing me and keeps taking his anger, for whatever happend in his day, out on me. I left home because of that shit. And I don't need to go through it again here.
Con: I dont even want to have sex with him anymore. In fact, I believe that's all he wanted from me in the first place; a person to relieve his stress on. For that and to be a 'trophy girl' amongst his friends. I remember when I was still living back home and he mentioned us going to stay at a beach house with his friends when I came to visit. He said to me, "You know what? You should wear that thong set you bought to the beach. Everyone would be so jealous!" I would have done it too, but the trip was canceled due to some reason I can't recall at the moment. I remember buying the thong set online just for his eyes to see, but I wanted to wow him. That is why I would have wore it on the beach...it wsa a stupid thought and I'm glad the trip was canceled. I would have regretted being so hooched out just to impress one person. But anyway, I stopped having sex with him because I felt that it was sinful and I felt guilty, and yadda yadda yadda. So I wanted to keep building the connection that I have with God. Now please tell me why my BF was like, "I dont understand why you're doing this. Just because you religion says so? You can't believe the bible because it was written a long time ago for those times and blah blah blah." Well, last time I checked, the 7 deadly sins AND the 10 commandments are still rules to live by. So why should I believe one thing and not the other if they are both in the bible? He says, "you shouldn't put your faith on a book that some guy wrote." And no matter how mcu I try to explain how the bible came to be, what the messages in the are worth, and why my faith is so strong, he rolls his eye and says I'm stupid for believing in something so outdated. Well I'm sorry, asshole, that being a christian isn't the current trend this year! And not that cursing is part of my religion...I'm just so FUMED! And cursing is something that I have to work on...not cursing out loud, but just the thought of so many curse words. It just brings me down.
Con: I think...no, I know I'm losing love for him. And when that's gone.......
But anyhow, that's my list...
Pro: staying rent free in his home while i go to school
Con: being a burden; no job, no money
Pro: free meals, even if they are pretty much the same 4 days out of the week
Con: the ability to get tired of it quick and forced to spend money or else yak
Pro: having a man means loving arms and a source of meeting new people
Con: lately he's been super crabby and doesn't like it when I mention hanging out with other people.
Pro: getting money from him for snacks, get bills paid, doing fun things together
Con: money on hold since summer started, bills are getting paid but now he's yalling at me at how i should get a job (it was his idea that he pay for my bills in the first place!), when's the last time we went out and not gotten into an argument?
Pro: gentle caresses while cuddling on the couch
Con: he pokes me, constantly...then when I get irritated he asks me what my problem is. So I say to him, "Why cant you touch me lovingly and nice for a change? We're not 4. You dont have to poke me and hit me to show me you're interested or want my attention!" And whateverthehell happend to verbal communication???
Pro: Having a best friend for the rest of your life
Con: Honey, I can't stand him for more than 5 minutes! When did this happen?!
Pro: He's there to take care of you and take you whereever you need to go
Con: He's works a lot, then blabs to me about the friend's he's made and how beautiful his co worker is. Then he gets home and is too tired to do anything that I want to do. Liek what I want to do isn't worth the time or effort
Pro: We're both Christians
Con: Somewhere down the line, after I moved in, he changed his story and decided to tell me that he doesn't completely believe in God or that the bible was written by God!
Con: He does no house work, but complains if I leave something undone. Can you believe he yelled at me because I asked him to get one load of clothes out of the dryer for me? He said, "You NEVER do all fo the laundry on your own! I ALWAYS have to finish the job!" Which is completely untrue! So when I showed him that I did the clothes, without his help a few days ago, he said, "It's about time you started to respect me." MUTHA FUCKA! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT???!!! But I left it alone or else I would have blew up and would have had been kicked out!
Con: He keeps pushing and pushing me and keeps taking his anger, for whatever happend in his day, out on me. I left home because of that shit. And I don't need to go through it again here.
Con: I dont even want to have sex with him anymore. In fact, I believe that's all he wanted from me in the first place; a person to relieve his stress on. For that and to be a 'trophy girl' amongst his friends. I remember when I was still living back home and he mentioned us going to stay at a beach house with his friends when I came to visit. He said to me, "You know what? You should wear that thong set you bought to the beach. Everyone would be so jealous!" I would have done it too, but the trip was canceled due to some reason I can't recall at the moment. I remember buying the thong set online just for his eyes to see, but I wanted to wow him. That is why I would have wore it on the beach...it wsa a stupid thought and I'm glad the trip was canceled. I would have regretted being so hooched out just to impress one person. But anyway, I stopped having sex with him because I felt that it was sinful and I felt guilty, and yadda yadda yadda. So I wanted to keep building the connection that I have with God. Now please tell me why my BF was like, "I dont understand why you're doing this. Just because you religion says so? You can't believe the bible because it was written a long time ago for those times and blah blah blah." Well, last time I checked, the 7 deadly sins AND the 10 commandments are still rules to live by. So why should I believe one thing and not the other if they are both in the bible? He says, "you shouldn't put your faith on a book that some guy wrote." And no matter how mcu I try to explain how the bible came to be, what the messages in the are worth, and why my faith is so strong, he rolls his eye and says I'm stupid for believing in something so outdated. Well I'm sorry, asshole, that being a christian isn't the current trend this year! And not that cursing is part of my religion...I'm just so FUMED! And cursing is something that I have to work on...not cursing out loud, but just the thought of so many curse words. It just brings me down.
Con: I think...no, I know I'm losing love for him. And when that's gone.......
But anyhow, that's my list...
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