okay.
so you all know the situation with me and my BF. and then somehow it becames better. he went away for nearly 3 weeks and came back a lesser-grumpy man. yeah me. so now the thoughts of leaving are tipping back into his favor, yet again. but then something suddenly happend. out of the clear blue sky, his sis brings home a man whom she is dating. a man who reminds me so much of a dear friend who died maybe 6 months ago and whom i regret not getting involved with (if he would have even let me). a man who picks up the slack that my man doesnt give a shit about. too bad what my man doesnt give a shit about is everything to me. money is not a problem. a home is not the problem. love isnt even the problem. but the love of art is, and that's exactly what he lacks. without art, i feel, there is no meaning to your life or anyone elses. communication is the art of speech. physical movement is the art of mechanical skills. and respect is a sort of considerate art. i get none of these with him, and all of them with "brown". brown came to me the other day and inquired on my art. I hadn't told brown, but BFs sis brought it up. then today we got into a mini convo about music. but not just any music. but MY music. the music that so many ignore because pop and hip hop have dominated the radiowaves. yes, techno. good-feeling, sweat-dripping, atmospheric, got you orgasmic shit. and it is this that i love. its not a surprise that BF and sis both picked ultra trendy/artistic people to pick up their slack.
she should have never brought him home. I'm starting to feel all the nostalgic bits that i never really got to live, but only tasted twice in my whole young life. I'm nearing a quarter of a century...i cant go out not doing and feeling what i need. and that is art/music. and that is brown.
hmm.
I wonder is brown will get tired of her...
[note: brown has been changed to protect their current existence]
so you all know the situation with me and my BF. and then somehow it becames better. he went away for nearly 3 weeks and came back a lesser-grumpy man. yeah me. so now the thoughts of leaving are tipping back into his favor, yet again. but then something suddenly happend. out of the clear blue sky, his sis brings home a man whom she is dating. a man who reminds me so much of a dear friend who died maybe 6 months ago and whom i regret not getting involved with (if he would have even let me). a man who picks up the slack that my man doesnt give a shit about. too bad what my man doesnt give a shit about is everything to me. money is not a problem. a home is not the problem. love isnt even the problem. but the love of art is, and that's exactly what he lacks. without art, i feel, there is no meaning to your life or anyone elses. communication is the art of speech. physical movement is the art of mechanical skills. and respect is a sort of considerate art. i get none of these with him, and all of them with "brown". brown came to me the other day and inquired on my art. I hadn't told brown, but BFs sis brought it up. then today we got into a mini convo about music. but not just any music. but MY music. the music that so many ignore because pop and hip hop have dominated the radiowaves. yes, techno. good-feeling, sweat-dripping, atmospheric, got you orgasmic shit. and it is this that i love. its not a surprise that BF and sis both picked ultra trendy/artistic people to pick up their slack.
she should have never brought him home. I'm starting to feel all the nostalgic bits that i never really got to live, but only tasted twice in my whole young life. I'm nearing a quarter of a century...i cant go out not doing and feeling what i need. and that is art/music. and that is brown.
hmm.
I wonder is brown will get tired of her...
[note: brown has been changed to protect their current existence]
